Leaving everything I know behind…

With less than 2 weeks to go there are many things that I have to think about in preparation for my trip and there are many things I’m trying very hard not to think about. I’m sitting with emotions of apprehension, doubt and wondering “why am I doing this again?” together with emotions of excitement, enthusiasm and anticipation of “I just can’t wait to get there already.”

With every day that goes by, comes an increased appreciation of the simple pleasures of life, enhanced by the knowledge that I will not have these pleasures on Kili. On a regular day, the simple pleasure of ending a training session with a hot shower – allowing myself to rejuvenate in the flow of water – highlights the fact that after a long day of hiking, all I’ll get is a bowl of luke warm water to wash with and share with a friend. Ending a regular day by getting into a comfortable bed, electric blanket switched on and snuggling under the duvet, highlights the lack of these comforts at Kili. This creates a bit of a wobble inside me that begs the question – can I really go through with this?

But then… speaking to people who have summitted Kili and seeing their pictures from the top of Africa makes me want the experience all the more. I believe that when life’s comforts are stripped away, when the distractions (and necessities) of every day life are removed – you get to meet the person that you truly are – no diversions, no masks. When the going gets tough, our authentic selves shine through and when we let our authentic selves shine, we get to experience the true beauty of our soul.

This is why I’m going… and I’m looking forward to spending quality time in the company of myself – all distractions, aka comforts, stripped away!

In this high place
it is as simple as this,
leave everything you know behind.

Step toward the cold surface,
say the old prayer of rough love
and open both arms.

Those who come with empty hands
will stare into the lake astonished,
there, in the cold light
reflecting pure snow,

the true shape of your own face.  

~ David Whyte ~